Book Review - Think again, The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know - (Part II)

As we all know, conflict is inevitable when dealing with other people. Everyone is unique and grows up in a different context. How to persuade others, or create a win-win event, just like performing a stand-up show. A good debate is not a war. This is not a tug of war. This is more of an unchoreographed dance, with no different steps agreed upon with a partner. If you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If you adjust your movements to hers and let her do the same, you'll be more likely to keep up.

In an argument, we should put the issue on the table and get to the point. This makes it easier for people to discard even the most shaky items. Few people are willing to hear what they don’t want to hear. It’s a common problem in persuasion: What doesn’t shake us can make us stronger. The author describes this in the book as vaccinating our body’s immune system against a virus. Resistance behaviors strengthen our psychological immune system and increase our confidence in ourselves.

Furthermore, when people ignore advice, it's not always because they object. Sometimes they resist pressure and the feeling that others control their decisions. To help them and protect their freedom, motivational interviewing is more suitable for them. The motivational interviewing process involves three key techniques:
I. Ask open-ended questions
II. Engage in reflective listening
III. Affirm a person's desire and ability to change

Open-ended questions show that you care about them. Reflective listening means you put yourself in their shoes. Affirming a person's desire and ability to change means they have your support. It's like your partner wanting to work abroad but not getting your permission. In this way, you must become an active listener. Listen to their voices and listen to their concerns. Then you'll know how to reduce their anxiety and ease their feelings. In conflicts, our interactions should be gradual. Sometimes we need to be firm. Sometimes, we're better off taking a step back. Follow the rhythm between you and your partner and the dilemma will eventually be resolved.