【追尋夢想】Future in your hand

Dear My Future, 

Do you still remember me? 

It’s T.T. here. Since I lost your contact due to losing my cell phone two years ago, I have missed you a lot. How have you been recently? I have even tried sending you a message through Facebook, but there has not been any response from you up to now. Therefore, I am trying to send you a message via the email that you gave me inside my dream I had last night this time. I hope you will contact me very soon.

I still remember that I met you in summer 2014. In that moment, I was totally lost about my future because of the 3 years of unemployment. Thus, I asked your opinion on whether I should study in the programme of Master of English Studies at The Education University. Because of your good suggestion and encouragement, I finally decided to take the 1-year full-time Master’s programme. Unfortunately, what I was worried about the most, which I shared with you in my dream, came true after the first semester of the programme. Sadly, my final GPA did not achieve the minimum required level for graduation, mostly due to failing in one course called Functional Grammar. At that time, the GPA I obtained was only 1.40. Do you know how this value of GPA affected me so terribly in both psychological and physical conditions?

During the first year of my study, I was extremely depressed and paranoid on account of failing in the course of Functional Grammar and gaining bad results in other courses, especially English Phonics & Phonology and English Discourse Analysis, even though I tried my very best to study hard. In addition, I stayed home alone in my bedroom and ate only candies for three weeks. In theory, a person like me, with a lot of experiences on certain things should deal effectively with the relevant matters the second time. But in practice, this is not totally absolute. For instance, I studied abroad in Canada for six years and also obtained a Master’s of Education in Visual Arts in 2011, but it is extremely tough for me to get on well with this English studying as my second Master’s. 

Compared to other pupils in all my classes, I considered myself to be more idiotic in learning English. Not only did it seem easier for them to deal with the academic challenges of all of the courses, but they also learned much faster and followed when the professors talked about related theories of sociolinguistics, functional grammar, phonics, discourse and research studies on English language learning. This was because they already had basic knowledge and learning foundation about the above types of English expertise before taking the master’s programme. Put another way, the majority of them had previously studied either English or Linguistics as their major in universities in the past. That’s why most of them have a high level of English expertise. 

Without a doubt, failing in the course of Functional Grammar has left a very bad mark in my life. However, I have to appreciate you to give me a positive energy and optimistic mind in order to triumph over my anxiety and depression. Until now, I have never forgotten about a motto that you taught me every night within the two years. The motto is as follows:

“If one does not exert oneself in youth, he will regret in old age.”

Thus, I did not give up on myself in that moment because I did not want to feel regretful to my laziness when I get old. Hence, I put much more effort into my study, retaking the six additional courses in the second year. Gratefully, between these two school years, my overall GPA was successfully enhanced from 1.40 to 2.15, which exceeded 2.0 minimum required value for graduation. When I received the certificate of this Master’s from a Principal on the stage during the graduation ceremony, I smiled appreciatively at how much effort I put into my study for graduation. From this experience, I have deeply learned that no matter how many times I fall down, I have to learn how to be courageous to get back up again. 

Again, I kindly appreciate you for your beneficial opinion about my previous study plan and your encouragement. 

Best regards, 
 T.T.