The Curly Girl

I thought I could walk inside, but I couldn’t. The interior design of the restaurant blocked me from the unpredictable eyes of my old strangers. I didn’t know how they would react when they saw my curly hair again. There were many years that my name was non-researchable in the contact list, and I wasn’t sure that they wanted to see my curly hair again. If I needed to move my legs and walk inside the restaurant, I needed to make sure they could only see what they should see. They should only see my yellow face; the face that told them what the new policy of immigration was. They should only see my thin hands, the hands that used to hold pens and rewards. They should only see my lips, the lips that spoke in the gradation of our high school. They should see everything about me, but not my curly hair.

“Everything is fine, and you should just walk in,” Amy said her pitiful words to comfort me. “Relax! It is just a dinner with our old classmates and your hair looks normal.”

I wasn't sure that I should trust her words or not, as the counselor always lied. They would lie about your hair and everything in your life, to make you feel a little bit comfortable. “Everything would be fine, and you should walk inside.” Amy always fake words from her database. “You should feel confident about your beautiful hair” I guessed it was her professionalism to use those shallow words, as the word of beautiful should never be used to describe my hair. Amy should know the truth about my hair since we were in high school. It wasn’t a good journey for me to carry curly hair in high school, as the waves of my curly hair were too many.

Thirteen, sixteen, twenty, twenty-one, thirty, thirty-two...

I used to count how many waves that I had, but I had never successfully counted how many waves that I had. Amy stood outside the restaurant with me, but I wished she could walk inside. As her straight hair was also famous in the school, and she would still be famous in the group our old classmate. “They are waiting for you, Amy,” I said. “You should go inside. I come late.” I saw Amy went inside the restaurant and her straight hair decorated her skinny body. Then, I heard the sound of excitement. For sure, Amy’s old friends would feel excited to see her. I went to the bathroom and my left hand tried to pull some of my hair out, and I wished my new hair would become straight and pretty. I kept pulling my hair, no matter how painful it was. If Amy saw me, she might try to stop me with her professional words again.

I kept trying to pull my hair out, but it didn’t work. I felt my curly hair was becoming longer and curly. It wasn’t the result that I wanted, but I could not stop it. It wasn’t only my terrible curly hair; my body was changing as well. My face became smaller and thinner; it should be a great thing for a girl, but it wasn’t an acceptable solution for me. I started to lose weight, as every part of my body started to become smaller. Except for my curly hair, every part of my body kept shrinking and shrinking until I became a size as a barbie. I tried to scream but the volume of voice had become lower than usual.

I looked in the mirror and I was a small tiny girl with big curly hair. My curly was still a burden for me, but it had become heavier. It was so heavy for a toy girl to carry big curly hair as I couldn’t stand. I laid on my curly hair and looked at the ceiling of the bathroom. The curly hair had become softer and softer for me. I had never felt my hair in this way; my hair was comfortable, and it wasn’t that curly as I thought.

I saw Amy. She came into the bathroom and looked at me. She smiled at me; she didn’t put any professional and fake words on me. She held me up like a little toy and put me on her hair. My big curly hair covers her straight hair; she used a to clip to hold me on her hair. She went inside the restaurant with my curly hair. I thought those people would laugh at her terrible curly hair and she would release me from her head. But no one talked about my curly hair at the beginning of the dinner; it seemed like my curly hair looked normal on Amy. No one talked about me and it seemed like they were not waiting for me. I wasn’t upset, as those people were not my friend. At that moment, I realized the only thing that I had was my curly hair.

“Your hair looked familiar, Amy.” one of the men said. “I think I saw your hair somewhere.” Finally, someone recognized my curly hair. “No, it was just my new hair,” Amy said to that man with her sweet voice. “Your curly hair looks pretty.” The man said. It was the first compliment that I had never heard. Amy shouted suddenly and it was unusual. I thought she would be happy that a man complimented her curly hair. But she kept shouting and it seemed like something made her suffered. My curly hair became shorter and lighter for me, and my body turned back to the normal size. Amy threw me on the table so that I wouldn’t crush her skull. It wasn’t hurt when I fell on the table, as my curly hair was mine again.

“Are you okay, Curly girl?” The man who said my hair had pretty said my nickname when I was in high school. I sit at the table and looked at those people; they didn’t look at my face, my hands, or my lips but my curly hair. At that moment, I felt my hair wasn’t that curly anymore and it had become normal.